Three Weddings!

Written Dec 20, 1999

 

Three weddings in two days!  And for none of them did we have more than an hour’s notice.

 

The first was a double wedding.  Those who have been to Honduras will probably remember Reinerio (he drives the tractor and the “deuce”), and his brother Esteben.  They both have been living with young women, as is the custom here.  Reinerio had a child with his “wife” as well, which he named Allen, after one of the missionaries.  Esteben claims to know Christ, and recently rededicated himself to follow Jesus.  Reinerio contemplates Christ, but as yet has not committed himself to follow Him.  Both men have felt the “peer” pressure to legalize their marriages, and finally decided to do so.

 

There was no public announcement.  The first we heard was on the ham radio when the O'Neils asked if we planned to attend the civil ceremony at the municipal building, scheduled for about an hour from then.  Part of the reluctance in marriage is the big expensive party that is supposed to accompany the ceremony.  So to help avoid the shame of not having one, things were kept private.  We prepared by finishing breakfast and putting on “church” clothes, which are very casual here.  

 

When we arrived for the 8:00 AM ceremony, we met the usual delays.  The mayor was late, papers needed signed and recorded (in a different building), fees paid, etc.  The couples were present, dressed in their best, (what we might wear to go to a family restaurant or shopping in the US).  Reinerio also wore a hat.  The mother of the men asked if Pad O'Neil and I would be witnesses, which required our presence and signatures.  We accepted the honor.

 

Finally, the couples, family, and friends crowded into the mayor’s office.  Reinerio and Maria sat across from the mayor’s desk on a bench, with Pad and me on either side.  The mayor’s secretary asked a series of questions: name, age (22 and 18), did you complete elementary school (yes for both), can you read and write (yes for both), have you been living together (yes). They both needed to sign in seven places.  

 

Then, they stood, and the mayor gave an exhortation that pleasantly surprised me.  He reminded the couple, that even though divorce was legal on earth, it was not acceptable in God’s eyes. And even though the custom in Honduras was to live with three or more different people throughout ones lives, God recognizes only one marriage, unless death separates the couple.  He then read some basic vows, which the couple agreed to, and presented them with a certificate.  A friend was present to take pictures.

 

Next was Esteben and Gladys’ turn.  It started the same. Neither of the couple had completed elementary school, which showed in their hesitancy in writing their names.  There was some discussion over Esteben’s age.  He thought he was 23, but he was younger than Reinerio, who was 22.  Finally, it was agreed that he was 21. Then Gladys gave her age at 15, and things came to a halt.  None of her family was present (they had bad feelings toward the men’s family, so they didn’t attend) and by Honduran law, the father needed to give consent if his daughter was under 18. After much discussion, the mayor’s secretary typed up a consent form, and off went Pad and Esteben to get Gladys’ father’s signature.  Unfortunately, he was out fishing, but her mother signed, which the mayor accepted.  The ceremony was completed (around 11:30), congratulations given, and everyone went their own way.

 

The next night was Saturday, and the day for the joint church service between our church in Lis Lis, and a sister church in Cerro Colorado (I will write more of these services at another time).  This time it was in Cerro Colorado.  We arrived to an elaborately decorated church building with balloons, streamers and banners. The people were dressed in their best. 

 

The service started as one of the usual Saturday joint services.  There was singing, Scripture reading, and a sermon, given by a guest speaker, all done with reference to the wedding. The sermon dealt with the marriage relationship as an image of Christ and the Church.

 

Then the wedding started.  In walked the maid of honor, dressed in a fancy white gown, cutting the ribbons that were draped across the isle.  We initially thought she was the bride.  She was then followed by other attendants, flower girls, ring bearers, and the bride and her father.  The ceremony was a carbon copy of a traditional wedding in The States, with the same symbolism of the ring, and the same vows.  The dress included suits for the guys and dresses for the girls like in The States.  Afterwards was a reception with cake, and elaborately wrapped gifts.

 

The comparisons and contrasts were interesting.

 

Dave Drozek, with

 

Thoughts from Honduras